The Gifts of Choice 3-4-19
From my window I’m observing the world as it is awakening,
It’s ahead of me this morning but I won’t play catch-up.
I’ve come to appreciate these solemn moments of pondering
Where thoughts are not contrived or managed in any direction.
Memories play within empty halls inside leaving behind echoes.
To fill up that space seems wrong right now, so I leave it be.
The need to be someone is gone and that allows for a freedom,
Like a vast and empty canvas to throw color at , unplanned.
Each day presented now relaxes into itself, ripening and expanding.
The lists and agendas dance about in my mind and I see to them.
That constant, inside badgering to prepare, produce and provide
Has quieted itself and flows gently in it’s own free direction.
I am removing the sticks and stones that have deterred the waters
Letting them ripple spontaneously wherever they may decide to go.
A slight breeze is evidenced in the gentle rocking of yellow daffodils
While raindrops bounce and jump about the puddles in the yard.
I am realizing that life is and always has been chaotically ordered
Furious and deafening, constantly moving, yet ultimately purposeful.
I cannot and do not desire to change it but rather, I can treading and out
Letting it carry me from one place to another, I can determine my own course.
Like a fast moving passenger train, life surely races swiftly through time
I’m learning to embark and disembark as the need arises and choice dictates..
No longer pushed or pulled in directions I would prefer not to go in
I’m choosing to get on board, riding along and enjoying the scenery.
I’ve been given the opportunity to retreat occasionally for the needed R&R
Filling up my reserves for another attempt to meet the pandemonium.
I’ve discovered a level of personal choice I hadn’t known before.
This time I am not some witless weed being tossed about by the wind.
This time I am choosing to remain planted until my flowers fully bloom.
Remaining & admiring the view or deciding to move again, the choice is mine.