They say love hurts.
So if that’s true why do we keep going back for more?
We do it though.
Over and over again.
I think it’s because life is too barren and cold,
If we don’t take the risk to love
And let ourselves receive it.
Love has so many faces
And who’s to say what is and isn’t love?
The depth of hurt might be equivalent
T o the extent of our love
But then again, maybe not.
Young love often fails, not because it isn’t genuine
It falls short because it’s often not the right fit
And then outgrown.
It still hurts though, worse than anything
First loves have no reference to any past experience.
After the tragedy is survived and the dust settles
Most of us all go back for more.
We try again because in the midst of all the crazy drama
The ultimate hurt, rivers of tears and breaking hearts
There is something gloriously wonderful in there.
That something, that makes us feel higher than high,
More beautiful than ever before
And magically capable of anything
That thing is love.
Nothing in the world quite like it.
So we go back and go back
And go back for more,
Because for most of us,
Life just isn’t worth a toss without it.
The Risk to know Beauty 4-17-21
A Rose Garden
The whole world could be choked with thorns
A lover's heart will stay a rose garden.
The wheel of heaven could wind to a halt
The world of Lovers will go on turning. Rumi
In my wandering through memories
I find I stumble over many these days.
Gazing through a window of tears
I see your face looking back at me
And I am grateful I took the chance.
In spite of the many past heartaches
I said, “Yes” to your invitation to love,
And have never regretted a single day.
No second thoughts, no skepticism,
Taking a leap of faith was worth the risk.
The years have taught me to trust
More in my own wisdom than others.
Making decisions have become mindful,
No longer blindly hoping for the best
I know my heart will choose wisely.
Remembering that we both believed
That a love such as ours was possible
Is what opened the way for us to meet.
In spite of the thorns we saw only roses.
Defying the odds, we found only love.
Am I what I am feeling?
Do my emotions define me?
Spending time on the ocean
Adrift in a boat without oars
I’ve had the chance to trust
That in spite of what I feel
I am safe.
I was so long immersed
In the beguilement of love,
Bathing in the beauty of it,
Sheltered in its protective harbor.
When, in an instant, it was taken,
Rendering me lost and searching
In the many days since
Experiencing the many faces
Of emotions and deep sorrow,
I have learned to acquiesce,
To find contentment within.
Yet it often eludes me, leaving me
Trusting there is a process
Engaged within is an alliance,
A microcosm of the infinite,
Oneness with all that is.
Herein dwells the safe harbor
That keeps me secure
Letting my emotions
Simply be what they are,
Observing the comings
And goings of them all
I might find the freedom
To explore beyond the borders
There can be a coalition
Between grief and joy
Where both might occupy
The same space in time.
Easing the barriers between them
There can be a cease fire
An amicable truce.
Both factors may ebb and flow
As ocean tides have always done.
To facilitate internal peace
Making way for evidential change,
Fear wears many faces.
Sometimes it pretends to be droll.
Then it will let me think
It is here to protect me from harm.
It presents many disguises
Seducing me to trust .
It will lure me in under pretense
Only to abandon me.
Fear is fickle and does not care.
Lately I have been afraid.
I want to be strong, at least
Appear to be so, yet
I don’t feel strong at all.
I’m afraid that life has beaten me
And I won’t be able
To get up again, this time.
I know that all things die.
It is the natural way of life.
But now I am living each day
Waiting for that other shoe to drop.
I realize in my heart
This is no way to live.
I wonder if I am caught,
Trapped in the many sorrows.
I no sooner say goodbye to one
Then another and then another,
When one by one those I have loved
Go on their way, away.
I don’t know if I can do it again.
I haven’t had a chance to breathe.
There has to be a way
To find a lasting peace.
So far it has been fleeting.
To accept things as they are
Realizing it is the answer
I seem reluctant and just can’t.
Maybe I see things as they are
But haven’t reached the place
Of a peaceful reconciliation,
Only fearful resignation.
So I am afraid right now
I don’t know where to turn.
Answers are evasive
No safe places to hide,
Fueling this sense of futility.
If I can manage one more day
And then another and another,
To persevere and trust
That all things come to pass
I might wake up and start a new day.
In my journey there is much I know
Yet so much more I don’t.
Somewhere within the unknown
There dwells a truce with uncertainty
Trusting that all is and will be well
Regardless of what fear tries to say.
There can be comfort in not knowing
So I will seek it, get to know it
Learning once again to trust
That which I don’t understand.