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I Don’t Know 5-15-21
I had one of those days again. Where my skin’s on backwards, My world is upside down And my blood is going the wrong way. Makes for a very irritable, annoyed, Angry, exasperated and sullen me. What makes it all worse I cannot ascertain the cause. This soggy, heavy wet blanket Descends arbitrarily, Without invitation and stays, Then leaves again without notice. If I attempt to find the source It only makes matters worse. My only defense against it is To simply let it be. The bottom line, I’ve discovered is Accepting what is present as An expression of my deep self Though ineffable, valid. Way down under the surface The residue of grief gathers. It seems to settle and thicken Until it has to rise up again. It will greet me at my door As if a welcome visitor. I have only to let it in And sit with it for a spell. Once I’m past the futility Of trying to define it, I am able to accept it’s here And wait for it to finally leave. I suppose some might say I am to make friends with this, At the very least, quit fighting it. All things come to pass, eventually. These kind of days render me Battle worn and down for the count. Even when the heaviness lifts I need alone time to recover. I am reminded of the distinction Between mourning and grieving. The former, an outward expression, The latter a long journey inward. Once the steady out pouring of tears Become silent, lurking behind corners, They return like a thief in the night And descend without warning. When I am able to stop resisting And let these times come and go, I believe they will finally integrate Within the complexities of me. No one in their right mind Actually enjoys pain and suffering But it is an intricate part of life Necessary to navigate through. These are the roadsigns that Guide me towards self care. I need to give me a hug Not always trying to figure it out. It’s best I accept what life brings me, That includes the lumpy bits. So when I find myself in the muck I can make like a pig and just rest.
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Haiku 5-7-5 Saying a lot with few words (three lines, first and third-5 syllables, middle line-7)5/11/2021 To Vanish
If I could stop time And slip inside a mem’ry There, I’d be with you. |
Diane BurnsThis is where I get to post things that I've written, paintings I've done and ideas I have for new projects. Archives
June 2021
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