Watching the world from a distance 6-21-21 Imagining myself high up in the bleachers Watching a game being played far below I am feeling oddly separated, yet akin With everything seen and unperceived. Another one of life’s infinite paradoxes That manages to challenge ones’ senses. To finally understand and then accept That it is all the same, from all sides. Letting go of the concept of linear time To be everywhere in the same instant There is an absence of any struggling As calm prevails, oneness is revealed. The deceleration of aging is no curse But rather a gift, a precious opportunity For me to notice life in a far different way. I am seeing beauty reveal itself to me daily. The things that are deeply disturbing, That I have no control over, seem distant And I have no wish to march in a cause Losing myself, trying to change what I cannot. So as my life continues to slow its pace, I am becoming the proverbial observant. Connecting to my fellows in a spirit of love Is what I look forward to most these days. Within this grace of serenity I insist upon play. It is an element of self that I treasure most. Laughing without restraint, letting tears fall Such close expressions I can barely tell apart. To step out of the race is to step back into life In a way I’ve not done or even considered. There were too many concerns and fears Pulling me along, seducing me to conspire. I believed the masquerade for a long time Presuming a plethora of misconceptions. Somewhere along the way I quit chasing. I stopped running after what I already had. What I have learned and continue to do Has been tantamount to winding up here In my own back yard where I first started I’ve traveled so far yet really, never left home. I have known great joy and deep sorrow. Been hopelessly lost and then found again. All to bring me around to know who I really am. Seeing from a distance, here in the midst of it all.
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Dreams 6-19-21
Funny how dreams create themselves Out of random thoughts and incidents Which occur, obscurely during a day. They are stored away for future use And show up in strange nighttime Ramblings appearing oddly pertinent. In the first few waking moments of a day A series of scenes re-run like movie trailers Briefly making sense, then becoming inane. How quickly the dramatic imaginings Of nightly visitations vanish like smoke Leaving behind only an occasional query. The more I try to recall, the more illusive. Attempting to apply language is futile. Words do not reveal the pictures I see. They are fleeting, making little sense to me. The attempt to share becomes fruitless and Produces only frustration in the exercise. So as usual dreams grow out of a part of me I only meet when asleep and I have learned To let them be what they are and that’s all. I don’t suppose they come bringing vital messages. These subliminal callers arrive without bidding. I just sleep while the greater part of me imagines. Unexpected Gifts 6-3-21 I’ve heard it said, the pandemic Has been an introvert’s dream. Being one of those who prefers My own company over others I whole heartily agree. The challenge, now, however, As I trepidatiously creep out Into the sunlight from my lair Is to make contact once more Letting hugs melt away fear. While spending months away Deep inside my quiet cave An insatiable desire to create Rose up and greeted me. I stepped into a new world. The year 20/20 is forever etched Abysmally imbedded in memory. Preferring not to say any more, It is what it was and most of us Survived, somewhat in tact. Saying good bye to loved ones, A way of life eternally changed Hiding behind doors and masks Refraining from physical contact Has taken a huge toll. Exploring this new world I discovered a new me. I’ve had the opportunity To accept what I couldn’t change Exploring that which I could. Trusting that I would be led Into an expansion of life From that which I’ve known, Stretching out and touching Virtually, beyond imagining. Letting the time communicate Looking for and seeking New ways to paint, to mold To write, to hold and caress life. Life has sustained me. A soul longing for meaning For a purpose amidst change, So profound and lasting. Abandoning all I’ve known For something unfamiliar. Side-stepping fear, with faith Hope has led me into the open The consummation amidst Known and ineffable destinations Has created a harmonious path. In spite of the tumult and tempest A population and earth convulsing, Change forced upon us Has not been entirely in vain. We are a tenacious lot. As it is when soil is broken Turned over and tilled, Preparing to plant new crops We have faith in the seeds. They will spring forth, new life. Okay, Right Where I am 6-6-21
Sitting on the edge of the world My life stretches out before me. Remembering the passing years A smile becomes laughter Then just as suddenly, tears. Both emotions become the other, Hardly decipherable, how can it be? Understanding that grief and joy Can occupy the same space let go and feel every bit of it. Mixed together with some regrets Gratitude wells up inside Out shining any misgivings. We live out our lives as best we can So looking back doesn’t hurt so much Things seem to take longer to do I’m not as fluid as I once was, But never mind, I am in no rush To get anywhere these days, ’m okay being right where I am. It’s a conundrum to be here now Nearing what are to be my last years. I don’t remember arriving I simply realized, one day, I had. So……. I’ll just make the best of it all. |
Diane BurnsThis is where I get to post things that I've written, paintings I've done and ideas I have for new projects. Archives
June 2021
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